Category: Stupid Email Disclaimers

Stupid Email Disclaimers celebrates the unenforceable legalese nonsense that is the corporate email disclaimer.

Why is it pointless? Others have put it better than me. For your enjoyment, some introductory reading:

http://aerin.co.uk/email-signatures-are-pointless/
http://www.economist.com/node/18529895
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/09630cc6-8e28-11e0-bee5-00144feab49a.html#axzz2tm2ehC6n
http://www.theguardian.com/media/2009/jan/11/useless-disclaimers-computing
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/alright-fine-ill-add-a-disclaimer-to-my-emails

SED #11: Atos

A bit of a lacklustre attempt here from their IT department. It doesn't even finish its sentence, perhaps meaning it goes on for ever and ever without end

This e-mail contains confidential information and is for the exclusive use of the addressee/s. If you are not the addressee, then any distribution, copying or use of this e-mail is prohibited. If received in error, please advise the sender and delete it immediately. We accept no liability for any loss or damage suffered by any person arising from use of this e-mail

SED #10: QIT Labs

Stupid Email Disclaimers makes its glorious return! And never mind that this is legalese nonsense, it's still not enforceable. (This instalment courtesy of QIT Labs.)

This transmission (including any attachments) may contain confidential information, privileged material (including material protected by the solicitor-client or other applicable privileges), or constitute non-public information. Any use of this information by anyone other than the intended recipient is prohibited. If you have received this transmission in error, please immediately reply to the sender and delete this information from your system. Use, dissemination, distribution, or reproduction of this transmission by unintended recipients is not authorized and may be unlawful.

SED #9: Intelligent Environments Europe Limited

This is a real gem. Brucie Bonus: the company's domain is IE.com.

_____________________________________________________________________
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. This communication represents the originator's personal views and opinions, which do not necessarily reflect those of Intelligent Environments Europe Ltd (IE).
If you are not the original recipient or the person responsible for delivering the email to the intended recipient, be advised that you have received this email in error, and that any use, dissemination, forwarding, printing, or copying of this email is strictly prohibited. If you have received this email in error, please immediately notify Support@ie.com.

IE is the trading name of Intelligent Environments Europe Ltd, a wholly owned subsidiary of Parseq plc.

Intelligent Environments Europe Ltd is a company registered in England. The company's registered office is Riverview House, 20 Old Bridge Street, Kingston upon Thames, Surrey KT1 4BU. Its registered number is 1862322.

Intelligent Environments Europe Ltd is a VAT registered company - GB 602 8062 72

SED #8: Oxfam AND Tower Hamlets Council!

A double whammy for our eighth instalment. How exciting. Check out this delightful conjoinment of two equally useless disclaimers, tastefully done in Times New Roman:

Oxfam works with others to overcome poverty and suffering

Oxfam GB is a member of Oxfam International and a company limited by guarantee registered in England No. 612172.
Registered office: Oxfam House, John Smith Drive, Cowley, Oxford, OX4 2JY.
A registered charity in England and Wales

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Working Together for a Better Tower Hamlets
Web site : http://www.towerhamlets.gov.uk
London Borough of Tower Hamlets E-Mail Disclaimer.
This communication and any attachments are intended for the addressee only and may be confidential. It may contain privileged and confidential information and if you are not the intended recipient, you must not copy, distribute or take any action in reliance on it. If you have received this E-Mail in error please notify us as soon as possible and delete this E-Mail and any attachments. This message has been checked for viruses, however we cannot guarantee that this message or any attachment is virus free or has not been intercepted or amended. The information contained in this E-Mail may be subject to public disclosure under the Freedom of Information Act 2000. Unless the information is legally exempt from disclosure, the Confidentiality of this E-Mail and your reply cannot be guaranteed.
If your request relates to a Freedom of Information enquiry, please resend this to foi@towerhamlets.gov.uk
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Please consider your environmental responsibility: Before printing this e-mail or any other document , ask yourself whether you need a hard copy

Not only did the last sentence not have any ending punctuation, three screens-worth of whitespace followed. Either someone unplugged the user's keyboard or the mailserver died of boredom whilst sending, exactly which we shall never know.